An Update and a Happier Sarah

So, I realize I have probably scared away a lot of 'casual' readers -- people other than my mom and my grandma -- by posting these little freak-outs. My grandma (I've heard) is this close to hatching a plan to kidnap me from New York, my mom has called and asked if I want to come home, and I've cried to my best friend Hannah about how I miss everyone.

And it's true. I do miss everyone.

But all the advice I've gotten -- some from perfect strangers -- has helped me put my life into perspective. My mom told me to make lists of things I want to do here, so when I get that feeling of "Oh my God, what am I going to do today, how am I going to fill up my time until I have to go to work? What am I going to do on my day off when I have no HOMEWORK anymore?!" I can simply look at my list, cross something off, and do it, thus saving myself from needless anxiety attacks.

Yesterday I worked the brunch shift at Manhattan Inn, and these 4 annoying, hungover dudes sat at one of my tables and drank unlimited rum punch as part of their prix-fixe meal. And boy, did these guys drink. They got wasted and stayed for 4 hours drinking a sugary, super-sweet punch made from the cheapest rum we have, orange juice, cranberry juice, pineapple juice, lime juice, soda water, a juice from a can of brandied cherries, and God knows what else. They asked me where I'm from and why I'm here and that I was the 'best waitress they've ever had.' One of the guys asked me what I was doing after work.

"I don't know. Going home and sitting. Cleaning." Not hanging out with you, if that's what you're getting at.

"Cleaning? CLEANING?!" he was shocked. "You need to go out and do stuff! There's tons of free shows and stuff to do. I used to wait tables too and I would just go home because I was so exhausted, but it's the only way you'll see the city."

Good advice from a nice, if quite drunk and annoying, guy.

Then, one afternoon at the cafe last week, I was talking to a customer who works down the street and stops in a couple times a week. She asked how I was liking the city and I truthfully answered that I don't like it very much yet, because I'm so homesick for my "little" hometown (at least, everyone here thinks of Omaha as tiny. I guess it's all relative). She asked how old I was.

"Twenty three," I replied.

"You're only 23? You live in the greatest city in the world -- go out and have fun!"

True. But I'm not your average 23 year-old. My body might be 23, but sometimes I think my soul is more like 65. I don't want to go out and party until 5 in the morning. I like going to bed early. My idea of a perfect night is a nice dinner, a movie at home, and maybe a bath and reading in bed with a candle lit. Last night I went to bed at midnight while Tyler went out for drinks with a friend. He came home at 4:30 in the morning, to which I say -- no thanks!

True, there are other things to do. Whatever your heart's desire, you can do it here. Want to eat a hamburger at a Chinese take-out place? They've got it. Want to see performance art where people on stage drink urine and have sex? It's here. You can do whatever you want to do.

But sometimes that very thought is overwhelming. And also, going into Manhattan is a trek -- you have to wait for the train, take the train, maybe take another train, walk, walk, walk a little more, get lost, use your BlackBerry to figure out where the heck you're going, push past people, develop a blister on your foot if you're wearing fancy shoes (which, by the way, made me realize I need to get an entire new shoe wardrobe -- I own no shoes that I can walk in for over a mile!), etc. etc. I much prefer to stay in Brooklyn -- within biking distance.

I do want to go to Central Park again, though, even though it took us a good 45 minutes to get there. It's the only scenery that reminds me of Omaha, and it's so enclosed with trees in certain spots that you can almost pretend you're not in the middle of New York City. Prospect Park also reminds me of Omaha. It's so beautiful, but sadly I didn't take any pictures.


Mmm...green water...so romantic!


I have been doing a lot better the past few days, though. I haven't cried once! I think this is a combination of being SUPER busy with two jobs and trying to see things in a more positive light. Tyler said I have to TRY to like things, instead of attaching everything to Omaha and how it's different. And of course, he's right.

Speaking of Tyler, I should tell him to post something soon. But he's just been working at home a lot. I think he gets bored during the day because he's stuck inside, and then when I come home I'm so tired I don't want to do anything except sit and rest my tired feet. When we get some money we're going to buy a better desk and comfier chair for the office so that it can be more of an office than a storage space for the bikes, and Tyler will have a place to work other than the living room. Also, we need to put more shelves in there since our small bookcase is full. Also, a table for the kitchen so we have a workspace to cook. Ah, money...it goes so fast...and comes in so slow...

Which is why I'm off to stand around bored at Small Wonder, then covering for someone at the Inn from 8 to midnight. 10 hour day! Oomph.